What To Do With Ashes After Cremation: Options, Laws And Urns

After cremation, the ashes (also called cremated remains or cremains) are returned to the family, and you can choose what happens next. The most common options are to keep them in an urn at home, bury them in a cemetery plot or niche, scatter them somewhere meaningful, or divide them between family members. You are not on a deadline, and many families do more than one: scatter part and keep the rest.

What Happens To The Ashes After Cremation

Once the cremation process is complete, the remains are cooled and processed into a fine, sand-like consistency. An adult's ashes typically weigh between 3 and 7 pounds. The crematorium returns them in a sturdy plastic bag inside a temporary cardboard or plastic container, along with paperwork identifying the remains. If you want the ashes placed in an urn before you collect them, tell the funeral home or crematorium in advance.

How Long Does It Take To Get Ashes After Cremation

Most families receive the ashes within about one to two weeks of the death, though this varies by state, crematorium and how quickly the paperwork and permits are completed. The cremation itself takes a few hours, but many states require a waiting period before it can take place. Ask the funeral home or crematorium for a specific date when you make arrangements, and ask how the ashes will be released to you, since most require a signed authorization.

What To Do With Ashes After Cremation

There is no single right choice. These are the options families most often weigh.

Keeping Ashes In An Urn At Home

Keeping a loved one's ashes at home is legal throughout the United States, and an urn can be kept for as long as you wish. A durable urn in wood, marble or metal is designed to last for decades, and the ashes themselves do not decay. If you are keeping all of the cremains in one urn, you will need a full-size urn; a smaller keepsake urn or locket holds only a small portion. Our guide to what size urn you need explains how to match the urn to the remains.

Scattering A Loved One's Ashes

Scattering ashes in a place that mattered to the person can be a beautiful tribute. The rules depend on where you scatter. On private property you need the owner's permission, and scattering without it is illegal. Most national parks require a permit or written permission, and state and local rules vary by county and city, so check with the managing authority before you go. At sea, the EPA allows scattering of ashes provided it takes place at least three nautical miles from land, and it asks that you notify the EPA within 30 days. That rule applies to ocean waters only; lakes and rivers are governed by state and local rules, which can be very different.

Burying Ashes Or Placing Them In A Niche

Many cemeteries offer cremation gardens, in-ground urn plots, and columbarium niches. Cemeteries often require an urn vault or a specific container for in-ground burial, so ask about their rules before you buy an urn. Our guide to choosing a cemetery can help you compare options.

Dividing The Ashes Among Family

Ashes can be divided among relatives and places. The funeral home or crematorium can do this for you, or your family can do it themselves. Some relatives may want only a small amount in a keepsake urn or a locket, while the remainder is buried or scattered.

Choosing The Right Urn

If you plan to scatter the ashes, the temporary container may be all you need. If you plan to display or bury them, choose something more durable and commemorative. Consider the size first, then material (wood, marble, brass or biodegradable), and then personalization such as engraving or a laser-engraved photograph. If you plan to travel with the ashes, the TSA allows cremated remains in carry-on luggage only if the container can pass through the X-ray machine, which usually rules out metal or stone urns. A temporary or wooden container is the safer choice.

When You Are Still Deciding

You do not have to decide right away. Many families keep the ashes at home for months or years before choosing a permanent place. If you are arranging this for a loved one, or planning ahead for your own wishes, a funeral concierge can walk you through cremation, memorial and burial choices at no charge, and Titan Concierge offers free funeral planning guidance for families comparing their options.

Whatever you choose, the goal is to give the family a sense of peace while honoring your loved one's wishes.