Your Guide to Funeral Planning | 09.14.2023

What Can You Do If You’re Not Invited to a Funeral?

What Can You Do If You’re Not Invited to a Funeral?


Cross Checked By: SCOTT GINSBERG

Not everyone may be welcome at a funeral

A funeral is an intimate affair for friends and family. Often, when a person passes away, their loved ones gather together to pay their respects and honor the memory of the deceased person. However, not everyone may be welcome at a funeral. Estranged relatives, friends who have had a falling out with the deceased person or their family, and even other acquaintances with whom there may be bad blood may not be invited to the ceremony. 

What to do if you are not invited to a funeral? 

If you hear of the news that someone in your family or circle of friends has passed away, but have not received an invite for the funeral, you may find yourself in an awkward position. This may be particularly true if you have not been on the best of terms with the deceased person and/or their family. If you are not sure what to do in such circumstances, here are some ideas that can help. 

  • Respect the family's decision: The funeral may be a private affair and the family may have chosen to keep the service limited to immediate family and close friends. While it can be disappointing not to be invited, it's important to respect their wishes and privacy during this tragic time.
  • Mend fences if you wish to: If there has been some misunderstanding between you and the family in the past, this may be a good time to mend fences and rebuild your relationship. If you are at fault, offer an apology along with your condolence message. Or, if you have been wronged, this may be a good time to forgive them and get to know each other once more. 
  • Offer your condolences in another way: While you may not be attending the funeral, you can always express your condolences and support in other ways. Consider sending a heartfelt sympathy card or letter to the family expressing your thoughts and feelings. You could also reach out to them through a phone call, email, or text message to offer your support and let them know you're there for them.
  • Attend any memorial events or gatherings: Sometimes, families may hold separate memorial events or gatherings that are open to a wider circle of friends and acquaintances. If you're aware of any such event and are on good terms with the deceased person’s family, make sure to attend and pay your respects there.
  • Pay your respects privately: If you're unable to attend any formal memorial events or gatherings, you can find a way to honor the deceased privately. Take some time to reflect on their life, memories, and the impact they had on you. You may choose to light a candle, say a prayer, or perform a personal ritual in remembrance.
  • Offer support after the funeral: Funerals are just one part of the grieving process, and the family may need support and comfort in the days and weeks that follow. Reach out to them to offer your assistance, whether it's helping with practical matters, providing emotional support, or simply being there to listen.

Beyond funerals: There are many ways to honor the departed

You may not have been invited for a funeral for different reasons. It could be because you live in a different city or country, because the funeral is a private affair, or because you may be estranged. Whatever the reason, you can find other ways to pay your respects and honor the departed person, like creating your own ceremony, remembering them, or visiting their final resting place at a later point in time. 

You can begin funeral planning years in advance. Titan Casket brings you the opportunity to pre-order a casket of your choice and add personalized touches to it. You can pay for the casket upfront or in easy installments. Once you make the payment, we will send you a pre-need agreement that you need to e-sign in order to finalize your order.